Couples Therapy for Infidelity and Betrayal
In person in San Francisco or online in the Bay Area, Los Angeles, San Diego, & across California
I offer relationship therapy for navigating betrayal and ruptured trust in both monogamous as well as open or polyamorous relationships, with particular care for the cultural and social context of Asian, BIPOC, interracial or intercultural, and neurodivergent partners.
Common reasons couples seek therapy:
Discovery of an affair, broken agreements, or boundary or consent violations
Feeling unable to talk about betrayal without escalation, defensiveness, or shutdown
Uncertainty about whether to repair trust, renegotiate the relationship structure, or to separate
In couples therapy, we:
Process the shock, grief, and emotional impact of betrayal
De-escalate conflict and develop skills for non-defensive communication and active listening
Examine the deeper context and power dynamics behind betrayal
Clarify agreements, boundaries, and expectations, including decisions about staying together or restructuring the relationship
Support couples who desire to separate in dissolving the relationship with clarity and care
Identify pathways to repair trust, rebuild safety, and sustain emotional security and empathy over time
I invite you to book a free 20min consult with me, where you'd get an idea if we're a good fit for each other. We’ll discuss what you’re seeking, how we might work together, and any questions you may have. You’re welcome to add your partner(s) to the call. I look forward to connecting with you!
FAQs
see also general practice FAQs
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Betrayal varies across different relationship structures. It might be a hidden emotional or sexual relationship, broken relationship agreements, omission of disclosure, or boundary and consent violations. Therapy helps clarify what happened and its context, how it impacted each partner, and what repair might look like for the relationship.
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In the first session, we focus on your immediate experience of the betrayal, helping to stabilize interactions, de-escalate conflict, and create a safe space for both partners. Early sessions also explore your relationship history and each partner’s personal, intergenerational, and cultural context. As therapy continues, we work on recurring patterns, the issues most pressing for your relationship, and ways to repair trust and rebuild emotional safety. Throughout, I strive to ensure that each partner has equal space to be heard, understood, and supported.
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I generally meet with couples for 75min on a weekly basis, and length of our work can vary between a dozen sessions to several months or longer, depending on the depth of the work desired.
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Culture, race, neurodivergence, and power dynamics shape how partners experience betrayal, rebuild trust, and communicate. In therapy, we explore these influences to reduce misunderstandings, repair trust, and reconnect in ways that honor each partner’s experience.
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I can work with couples in a mix of English and Cantonese. If you’re seeking fully Cantonese-only couples therapy, I’m happy to help with referrals.
Let’s explore working together.
Downtown Office 870 Market St, San Francisco, 94102. ADA access, by Powell St.
Pacific Heights Office 1781 Union St, San Francisco, 94123. Street Parking, MUNI access